Am I Bipolar?Asking help from China ? | Health and Fitness

Question by Kevin: Am I Bipolar?Asking help from China ?
Due to the backward medical care and doctors of impatience in my country, I have to turn to you, and hope you could give me some opinions and consultation.

1 family heredity

?1?My mother has had manic bipolar disorder with psychotic symptoms (auditory & visual hallucination) since 1991. Now, her manic and psychotic symptoms have subsided with Lithium 500 mg, valproic acid 400 mg?and
risperidone 2 mg everyday. Currently, she is sleeping too much, and her mental ability, memory, and agility decline dramatically, unable to work, read and understand newspaper, making simple mistakes all the time. It seems that my mother is permanently ?disabled? and there is no hope for her to recover.

My mother?s younger sister has excitable and changeable mood, easy to make a angry fuss over dialy simple stuff. But she manages to work perfectly well.

(2) My father is easy to get angry and anxious as he is aging (I don?t think there is anything wrong with him; his bad temper has a lot to do with family frustrations). And my father?s mother got anxiety disorder (I am not so sure) during cu-l-tu-ral re-vo-lu-ti-on. Now she keeps worrying about my health and future.

2 My History

At the age 11, I suddenly felt the whole world was collapsing??that was typical depression (morning severe but at night felt better). With no medical intervention, it lasted 6 months and almost completely subsided, only I myself turned to be an introverted person with some sense of inferiority.

At the age 15, I felt the same again. Again, it lasted 8 months and gradually subsided, with residual minor symptoms like anxiety, and mild depression. Therefore, I sought psychiatristic help. That psychiatrist prescribed me fluoxetine. Taking it for 2 weeks, 20 mg/day, I felt very typical mild maniac symptoms (fast thinking, unusual excitement, need for less sleep, etc).

Then another psychiatrist diagnosed me as ultra rapid-cycling bipolar disorder (predominantly depression), and gave me low dosage of Lithium+carbamazepine+various antidepressants. And I took that combination for 2 years, but felt nothing at all , even no side effects. During that time, I felt as mild depressive as before, plus anxiety and very disturbing obsessive-compulsive thinking. With no effects at all, I decided to stop all medications.

Years went by, in 2005, I felt my memory declined and I couldn?t focus for a long time, and the feeling of loneliness almost killed me. So I sought local psychiatristic help again. This time, I was prescribed with arbamazepine alone with no antidepressant, (800mg /day). Quite paradoxically and unexpectedly, I felt more agitation, anxiety, and anger than ever before. I could quarrel with my dear parents and threw precious items into pieces. Almost all the anti-maniac mood stabilizers (lithium, carbamazepine, valproic acid) seem to make me feel more ?emotionally turbulent?

Now I am taking Lamotrigine (50MG/DAY), a mood stabilizer supposedly to work for the depressive symptoms. But I am feeling mental dullness, restlessness, and agitation. With addictive tranquilizes (like clonazepam), I could feel much better. I am trying to explain everything to local doctors, but they dismiss me as ?somebody beyond redemption?? scolding me with impatience.

Other symptoms I am experiencing:loneliness, fatigue, lack of interest, erectile difficulty, premature ejaculation, and decreased orgasm.

3 I have some suspicions and questions:

(1) Is it a wrong diagnosis? Is it borderline personality disorder? But I clearly experienced mild maniac symptoms at the early stage. Every summer from 1998?2002, I got elevated mood mixed with mild depression. I even s-to-le things from stores and got a-rres-ted. But in the winter and fall, all goes down

(2) Why do anti-maniac mood-stablizing agents worsen my symptoms?
Taking any of them (lithium, carbamazepine, valproic acid), initially I was fuming with anger, agitation, and irritability. If those were the side effects, how long would them subside????

(3) Will a restart of a medication after short-term discontinuation worsen everything? Due to the discomfort felt, I had to discontinue mood-stablizing agents, and due to the unstable mood, I had to resume the old meds.

(4) How would I feel if taking mood-stablizing agents when I am unipolar depression or completely mentally normal??

Thank you very much for reading my long ?complaints?, and I?ve lost hope for life now. Since no doctor in my country could offer any help any more, I count on you really! I am in such a dilemma, and I am eager to hear any of your suggestions! I have to overcome the current ordeal, and find a job to make a living and support my family! Thank you again for your kindly help and advice!

(Access to this website is not easily available, pls email me: qinggong165@tom.com or jiayunfei155@yahoo.com.cn )

Best answer:

Answer by lil bit
It sounds like you have the same symptoms as me ? depression, obsessive-compulsive thinking, racing thoughts, anxiety.

It sounds like you have Bipolar ? but more depressive; along with anxiety and OCD (obsessive/compulsive)

I have found that I need to ?fight? for my life sometimes with doctors. The best medication that has helped me is ? Abilify (an antidepressant that helps bipolar). I also take Luvox (OCD), Wellbuterin (depression) and Klonopin (anxiety).

Each person reacts differently to the chemicals we put into our bodies which could explain why you have certain side effects.

My doctor doesn?t worry about diagnosis ? but treats my SYMPTOMS. Sounds like you need similar treatment

I am not certain how your body will react to different medications. For me, it has been 19 years of trial ? until finding the best combination (listed above) but I am open to changes as recommended by the doctor. Again, Abilify has helped me the most; and Klonopin helps well with anxiety, but it kind of makes my thinking sluggish

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